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Losing Stephen Sondheim (1930-2021)

Posted December 11, 2021

Losing Stephen Sondheim (1930-2021)

Photo by Jerry Jackson
Photo by Jerry Jackson

Every painful loss carries the weight of painful losses that came before. Losing our precious Steve Sondheim evokes the absence of both of our parents – and in particular, of course, our father.

The two of them were such remarkable peas in a pod. Despite their age difference – Steve was twelve years younger than Lenny – they became equals as friends and colleagues. Steve was twenty-five when he joined the West Side Story creative team. He may have been “the kid” when he started, but by the time the work was completed, Steve and Lenny were fast friends, and remained so for the rest of their shared time together. Steve joined us regularly for dinners; weekend visits in the country; vacation days on Martha’s Vineyard. We were a little scared of his ferocious intellect and biting wit – but he was unfailingly warm and affectionate with us.

Steve and Lenny were madly competitive word game players. The two of them would race each other to see who could finish their beloved convoluted British crossword puzzles first. And then there was the game of anagrams. The three of us cut our teeth at the anagrams table. It was a terrifying experience – akin to being thrown in the ocean before having learned to swim – to be invited for the first time to join Steve, our dad, and their various clever pals as they frenetically wrestled words out of the mass of letter tiles. It never got easy – but it was never less than thrilling.

Steve introduced our family to Bartletts – a variation on the dictionary game, but using Bartlett’s Quotations. Steve was brilliant at this game. We no longer remember the name of the author we were all writing entries for, but here’s what Steve came up with:

The gallopers breasted the crest of the hill;
There was shooting, and shouting, and suddenly – still.

To our complete delight over recent decades, Steve remained a close family friend -- and we particularly rejoiced in seeing how very happy he was with his spouse, Jeff Romley, and their rambunctious, adorable standard poodles. Steve even continued playing anagrams with us. In fact, we’d received an email from Steve mere days before his death, asking when we would next be gathering around the anagrams table.

And suddenly -- still.

Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim working on West Side Story in Washington, DC, 1957.
Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim working on West Side Story in Washington, DC, 1957.

 
 
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